Today was a bad fucking day, I feel so alone. I wish I had someone to talk to, but everyone I try to see is way too busy for me. I’m sorry I’m sad pathetic piece of shit, but it feels like a huge chunk of me is missing. Imagine your favorite thing ever suddenly disappears, that’s how I feel. I saw him every day. And now I have so much time and don’t know how to fill it. I don’t want anyone to feel bad for me, but it fucking hurts. It hurts more now after I saw him, now it’s just like why can’t I be there? And now it feels like he doesn’t care which makes this feel a thousand times worse. We get by with a little help from our friends? fuck that shit, I have to get by by myself. I wish I could cry to someone but I can’t because it’s not like he’s dead, he’s just in Alabama and he’ll be back blah blah blah no big deal, well it is a big deal. I’m alone. His dad gave me a hug the other day and said the he’ll hug me since I don’t have anyone to squeeze me, hes right, you take for granted little touches until they are gone. I don’t know when the next time I’m going to see him is, but it’s been a month since he’s been gone and I haven’t seen anyone except my family.
I guess I was a sucky friend so this is what I get. I’ll get over it eventually, maybe not. Fuck everyone.
